Restarting…

This is probably the 5th blog I’ve started. It’s usually the same pattern. I search for the perfect title and theme, write that first post, then, the self-doubt starts. Who wants to read what I write? Why do I think anyone cares? There’s no chance I am interesting enough to create something like the sites I read.

I like to pretend that if I had unlimited time and money to do whatever I want I could be a writer. The truth is, I’ve never written anything and have no training or talent. I think about how easy it would be to be a full-time blogger or youtuber, but I actually have no good, original ideas for content. I like to say that I am a creative person, but the truth is I rarely create anything. Part of this is, honestly, because of my job – it sucks a lot of energy. Still, I think there is more inside of me and it needs an outlet. I saw a quote recently, maybe Neil Gaiman, unfortunately, I’m not sure, that said if you want to be a writer (or artist, musician, etc) just start doing it and for a while it will suck and you’ll know that it sucks, but eventually you’ll get better and it will stop sucking and then you’ll be what you set out to be.

This time is going to be different. I’m not going to care if anyone reads. I’m not going to worry about not having a clear purpose for what this blog is going to be. I’m going to do it and maybe it will be a personal journal or maybe recipes and DIY or maybe funny stuff I find on the internet or maybe even some writing. Whatever it is I hope it helps me learn more about myself.

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